Life was really busy. My birthday was coming and felt sure that Marty would do something nice for me to say thank you for all my hard work. He didn’t say any thing on the morning of my birthday but I just figured that he would wait until after work. My friends came around and the phone rang, Everyone wanted to know what Marty had done for me.
He came home and said nothing. It finally dawned on me that he had forgotten. I was really upset but I couldn’t say anything. I actually thought that it was a reflection on me, and what I was doing, that somehow I was unworthy of a birthday present. I was gutted and went to be early in tears. Poor Marty had no idea what was going on. He just had a bad memory. I never told him and I don’t know if it ever dawned on him that he forgot.
People rang the next day to find out what had happened. I changed the subject and talked about other things. I never told anyone. I was too embarrassed. I always remind him when it is coming up but sometimes even that doesn’t work.
Marty and I planned to marry as soon as his divorce came through. You had to wait two years after separation and it was a no fault divorce. The necessary two years was up just before Simon was born but we were a little busy so it went back on the back burner. We started talking about Labour weekend the following October.It was a long weekend and most people would be around. Shirley and Peter would be back from Paris and I really wanted her to be my matron of honour.
I started planning for the wedding, It was going to be very simple. We didn’t have any money and there was no one else going to pay for it. We would get married in a park. Neither of us were church goers so it certainly wasn’t going to happen in a church. We thought Yatton Park would be nice. It was lovely with gardens and a water feature. We went for lots of walks there. And more importantly, it was free.
It was going to be a bring your own wedding, people were asked to bring a plate and a bottle. Marty’s parents were really upset. His father said he wouldn’t come if we didn’t supply the food. Marty just said, well don’t come then, we have no money and this is the only way it is going to happen. My father was upset about this as well but he didn’t offer to open his cheque book so he got the same response.
Claire from the baby shop gave me a huge bolt of material. It was white with little turquoise spots on it. Enough to make dresses for Shirley Anne and the girls. Shirley Anne sent me her measurements and I had a pretty easy peasant dress pattern with a three tiered skirt that didn’t need a lot of fitting. The girls had a similar design. They were going to be my flower girls. Jenni and Shirley Anne had a turquoise velvet bow at the back and Suzanne had hers at the front.
It was quite a lot of sewing but I didn’t mind. There was enough material left over to make Simon a shirt. I found some matching plain fabric and made him a little suit. It looked really cute.
I wanted my dress to be special. I certainly wasn’t going to wear white. That was for purity and I wasn’t pure. I found a lovely like apricot. I found a lovely pattern that had a square neck and it flowed from under the bust. It had an apricot satin bow like the girls. The only problem was the bodice was fitted and it had a long zip down the back. I couldn’t and still can’t do zips. Fortunately, my home aid Marion came to the rescue, she put the zip in and did the fiddly bits as a wedding present.
Of course the paper work had to be done but I just planned away assuming it would all fall into place
When we took Jenni, we went for legal custody. When did the ground work before Jenni came to us and when the lawyer asked Marty was is ex did for employment we didn’t know what to write. I said not a lot as she was travelling around America. We had watched Miss Universe the week before and one of the contestants said she was a social hostess. I mentioned this to the lawyer and it seemed to fit so it was put down as her occupation. She wasn’t very happy when she found out and insisted that we change it before she would give Marty his divorce.
Once that was sorted Marty went to the courthouse to file the papers only to discover that it wouldn’t come before the Tauranga judge in time for our wedding. Marty knew how much I wanted to get married on that day and asked for a solution. They said if he filed the papers in Whakatane the judge could sign them off there. He rushed off to Whakatane to our wedding could go ahead as planned.
My mother flew up from Christchurch. It was good to see her. I used Marty as a model to get the hem of Shirley Anne’s dress straight, I told him that he looked quite cute in a dress but he was really pleased to get it off. Shortly after my dad turned up, Marty was so pleased he was out of the dress.
People were so helpful. One of the district nurses offered to do the flowers. I made the cake and Marion iced it. Another nurse offered to come around on the day of the wedding to do my hair. And another friend Margaret lent us her family batch at Waihi Beach for the honeymoon.
I was really getting married and I was really excited about it.
© Barbara Hart 2014