I was so happy that I was pregnant so quickly, We told the girls straight away, though perhaps I should have waited for their Dad to have a little chat with them first to let them know we were going to do it. Marty had taken a bit of convincing, he thought his baby days were well and truly over and wanted a quiet life. He needed to get real, he would never have a quiet life with me. I am not the quiet type.
I rang my mother and said, did you see Dick Quax on the TV, because of past experience, she knew immediately that I was pregnant. It didn’t mean that I wasn’t worried, knowing my family history there was the potential risk and we didn’t know then the cause of Suzanne’s disability.
My father was not happy. I remember going to my baby brother’s Anthony’s birthday party very proud of my expanding waist line. He wasn’t impressed. My brother also poured doom and gloom on my happiness reminding me that God had got me once and he could do it again.
My friends were excited. Hilary came around and I told her. She says it was such a shame that Lynne still wasn’t pregnant after all her years of marriage. I said she will be, I guarantee it. she always copies what others do. Sure enough, she announced her baby was due 6 weeks after mine.
Things were changing for Marty’s girls. Their mother had a new boyfriend. What we didn’t know then was that she wanted to take the girls with her on her honeymoon to the states for six months. She never consulted us at all. When she tried to get them passports it was denied, someone had put a stop on them. We were blamed but as far as I know it had nothing to do with us. We had consulted a lawyer about buying the house and we may have mentioned he had children but we didn’t say, don’t let the girls out of the country. Why would we, we had no idea that plans were afoot.
The experience of travel would have been great for them and if we had been asked we probably would have agreed providing we had an assurance that they would return. We suspect their maternal grandfather been have been the person who stopped them, he was particularly protective of Josie and perhaps was worried they wouldn’t come back.
Marty’s ex tried to get them into boarding school but Jenni was considered too young so again without consulting us, she put Josie into boarding school in Masterton and moved Jenni in with her parents and went overseas for six months. Jenni was really unhappy about this. Eventually we sought legal advice on what we could do.
Things were changing for Suzanne too. The powers that be, finally realised that a standard wheelchair was just not comfortable for her. Suzanne and I were taken to Waikato by the OT to see about a new chair that would be especially moulded to fit her body. It was a new idea that had just come into the country. I don’t remember much about it except that on the way the driver asked me a question. What would you do if you knew your baby was going to be as disabled as Suzanne. I said I didn’t know, and they said well you know there is one option. It really hit home. What on earth was I doing bringing a baby into the world when the risks were so high.
Of course in those days, pregnancy scans were just coming in. And they were only for people who really needed them. And I didn’t really need one, so we had to wait and see.
I was just hoping for a boy, boys in our family did so much better. One day I went over to Eva Abplanalp’s house for a cup of tea. Franzi if I was remember stayed with Suzanne so I could take a break. . Eva had a visitor. Someone who could see auras. She told me I was carrying a girl. She could tell by my aura and she was never wrong. I went home really upset. Marty came home and I burst into tears. what is wrong he said, This lady who can see auras says I am carrying a girl and I don’t want a girl I want a boy.
He looked at me in that wise way he had when I am being really dumb and said stuff and nonsense, what the hell does she know, we will just have to wait and see.
And so we did.
© Barbara Hart 2014