Living in Henderson Cres was great, it was a nice friendly neighbourhood. There was a tragic 2 week period not long after we moved there when there were 3 separate motorcycle accidents. The drivers all lived only a few houses away in different directions including just across the road. Two were killed and the young man across the road, Billy was severely injured with head injuries and needed to learn to do everything all over again.
I was worried though, people saw Marty coming in and out all the time and I thought they may report me to social welfare. As I said he didn’t stay very often and he certainly wasn’t supporting me in any way. But as my social worker said, staying two nights in a row constituted living together and the loss of the DPB.
Marty was living in my friends house and it sold. I told Marty he needed to find somewhere to live and he I have, I will move in with you. That really hit home, he wanted to take financial responsibility for us, Wow, what a guy. He knew from the very beginning that Suzanne and I were a package deal and that I would never institutionalise her, she would be living at home. It didn’t phase him at all, in fact he didn’t understand why I didn’t say yes straight away.
It didn’t take me long to say yes and he moved in on the 8th December, just 11 days away from the first anniversary of when we met. It was the first time I had shared a bed with someone long term. I stopped the DPB and became a defacto wife. My mother was happy, my father was not. Until we were married my father referred to him as ‘that man’. he couldn’t see that this wonderful man was not only providing for his daughter but his granddaughter as well.
We spent Christmas Day wit his parents.On the way we dropped presents off for the girls and I met Marty’s ex. Christmas dinner was a very dry affair. Marty’s mother cooked the chicken for several hours and there was no gravy. There was also Christmas pudding without custard. I couldn’t wait to get home.
The following day was freezing. We lit the fire and I cooked Duck a l’orange for Marty with all the trimmings. I hadn’t cooked duck before and was really disappointed to find there was very little breast meat but it tasted good and we had a lovely meal. We had candles and the roaring fire, what more could you ask for.
We were happy but the one thing I really wanted was a baby. I wanted to give Marty a son. His name was going to be Simon, after my good friend Simone and James, one of Marty’s middle names. Ideally we were going to wait until we were married but I was worried about lifting Suzanne who at 5 was no light weight. As much as I wanted to be married, I didn’t think I would be able to lift her in the latter stages of pregnancy if we waited too long.
We talked it over and over, weighing up the pros and cons. Remember this was the early 80’s. Pregnancy outside marriage was still a no no. Finally Marty agreed that it would be dangerous to wait and we started trying for a baby.
Within a month I was pregnant. I was so happy and I couldn’t wait to tell everyone.
© Barbara Hart 2014