by barbznz

Things at my brothers was going from bad to worse.I really hated his religious rantings which were getting worse.

And there was news, Gay had become pregnant much to everyone surprise. She was still talking about taking my baby and said they would be like twins, she even had names for them. I couldn’t think of anything worse.

I was still trying to figure out how I could keep my baby. My financial resources were very limited, I had no job to go back to, no home, nothing except my determination to keep my baby.

One day out of the blue, my brother said, we have decided not to adopt your baby. Good I said because I am keeping it. They were surprised but said nothing.

Since they were quite a long way from the hospital, my due date was approaching and they weren’t going to take the baby it made sense for me to move in with my Dad and stepmother Margaret who were five minutes away from the hospital. It was a much nicer environment.  The house was one of my childhood homes, though it had changed a great deal, walls had been moved and bits and the living area was now one big open plan space. It was still like going home.

I was really big at this stage, Dad called me a baby elephant, No one said anything about my plans to keep the baby, They just seemed to accept the idea which was fine by me. It was fun preparing for the baby now, I had something to look forward to. 

But baby didn’t come. I was 20 days late when I saw my doctor, He looked at me and said my dates were out and I had weeks to go yet. I told him as firmly as I could that being a single woman meant I knew exactly what my dates were and they were right.

I went home. I was so despondent, how long could this possible go on for.  Later in the morning, I  started to get some back pain. Not bad pain just niggle, I lay on the couch for the rest of the day until Dad and Margaret came home. The pain got worse. I didn’t know it but I was in labour.  Finally, they got sick of my crying and moaning and took me to hospital. 

I remember Margaret lent me her fur coat as it was quite chilly out side. It was almost midnight. Once we got to the hospital, they stopped the car, I got out and they drove home. I walked into the hospital and rang the bell.

I had never felt so alone. 

© Barbara Hart 2014